A familiar hell vs an uncertain heaven

Uncertainty can feel like we are standing on the edge of a cliff, tempting us to overthink, plan, and strategise in a frantic search for the illusion of certainty. But uncertainty isn't bad or dangerous. When our brains feel uncertainty, it goes into overthinking, planning, and strategising to create a false sense of certainty. And if your brain is wired like mine, you find comfort in predicting the worst-case scenarios because we are way more comfortable with certain doom than simply not knowing.

But what if, we embrace uncertainty rather than resist it? This will create a greater tolerance for the unknown, and something magical will happen when you do, you will end up strengthening your self-trust.

Your relationship with yourself actually gets stronger, and you deepen your connection to yourself. When you avoid continuous overthinking and planning, you signal your nervous system that you trust yourself to handle whatever comes your way. This not only boosts your confidence but also creates a sense of alignment with the universe, knowing that you can navigate life's twists and turns with grace and resilience.

Because we don’t fully trust ourselves, we think uncertainty is dangerous. We engage in compulsive rumination and make plans to brace for impact, trying to create a feeling of control. Fear plays a huge part here. What we fear is that we won’t know what to do, say, or how to act or react unless we planned in advane. In reality, this never goes according to ‘the plan’ anyway. How many times have you rehearsed a conversation in the shower about what to tell your boss about a situation that bothered you, or how to start a conversation with a friend that let you down, or what to say if you run into that ex you just can’t get out of your head? Those practiced conversations are useless. They never happen as we imagined, and even more rarely, they happen just as you rehearsed. Most times, they unfold differently in real life, if they happen at all.

The habit of strategising and planning in our heads, the rehearsal loops that we master, take an immense amount of time and energy (predicting the future is exhausting!!). It also make the belief that we can’t trust ourselves even stronger and that we can’t handle uncertainty in the present moment.

Looking at uncertainty with curiosity, calmness, peace, and even excitement allows us to strengthen and tap into our innate self-trust. It is a declaration to ourselves that we are capable, resourceful, and intuitive enough to navigate life as it comes. In turn, avoiding uncertainty, whether by overthinking, over-planning, predicting, and rehearsing, only strengthens our fears.

As we build our tolerance for uncertainty without filling in the unknowns with our fear-based predictions, we awaken our self-trust. It says to ourselves, "I know I am capable, resourceful, and intuitive, and I will handle whatever situation appears in the best way possible at that particular time."

Lean into uncertainty. It is not a threat to be feared but a way to self-discovery and empowerment. Embrace it and trust in your abilities. You are more than equipped to navigate life’s uncertainties with grace and confidence. Trust yourself; you will do just fine in any situation. You've got this!